TALENT

"If you have a talent, use it in every which way possible.  Don't hoard it.  Don't dole it out like a miser.  Spend it laviously like a millionaire intent on going broke!"

Brendon Frances

LONELINESS

"The soul hardly realizes it, but whether he is a believer or not, his loneliness is really homesickness for God."

  Hubert Van Zeller  1905-1984

EVERY MOMENT.....

"Every moment comes to you pregnant with divine purpose.  Time being so precious that God deals it out only second by second.  Once it leaves your hands and your power to do with it as you please, it plunges into eternity, to remain forever what you made it." 
Archbishop Fulton Sheen 1895-1979

COME AND SEE!

From Sept 11, 2010

Orientation day at Christos!!!  Lord, I'm amazed at you, Lord I'm amazed at you..... how much you love me!  I am awed to find myself in the midst of the richness of the Lord in the people He has gathered together in this class for the next 2 years!!! I am overcome with emotion!

The reading for Lectio Divina:  John 1:37-39  "The two disciples heard him speak, and they followed Jesus.  And Jesus turned and saw them following, and said to them, "What do you seek?"  They said to Him, "Rabbi, where are You staying?"  He said to them, "COME, AND YOU WILL SEE,"  So they came and saw where He was staying; and they stayed with Him that day, for it was bout the tenth hour.

What the Lord spoke to me:

Come and see...... the wonders I have to show you!  I will give you the eyes to see as you seek.....They are spiritual eyes.  The eyes of your heart will be enlightened with new sight.  There will be new clarity to what was once foggy or blurry.  The spiritual lens through which you look will have a heightened magnification as if you are looking through a microscope.  Pay attention to detail.  It may seem like progress is slow in this area, but to reap the full benefit of this and absorb it as I would have you do, it will be slow, but it will be constant.  I may even reveal things so subtly to you, that you may no even notice it to begin with....It is when you look, reflect, contemplate and meditate that where I am leading you will come to the surface.  As you move ahead under MY direction, you will blossom and flourish in the rich soil to where I have placed you now.  You will be watered and well fed.  You will grow like that mighty tree planted by streams of water.  Fruit will be bountiful and rich.  Fruit will increase in size til it drops from the tree, which will feed many.  You have positioned yourself.  You have postured yourself under MY direction....to that, MY heart delights!

As I have promised.... as you seek me, you will surely find me!  I long to be found of you!  My longing to be found by you is so much deeper that your desire to find me.  I am the Hound of Heaven and I am pursuing you!  I want to court you in a way you have not known or experienced before.  Your step of obedience has not gone unseen.  It is your gift of love to me.  Your obedience is crucial and I see you are taking step by step obedience...Listen to me.  Listen to the initial promptings of My Spirit within you.  Ask me questions.  Converse with me.  Let us dialogue together our love relationship.  As we dialogue, the level of our intimacy will deepen.  In the stillness of this silent path I am calling you to, you will come to know Me.  It will be deep calling out to deep.  I have set you apart.  Many who know you and love you may not understand you, but that is okay.  I know you and I understand how I wired you.  I created you for Myself!  Bask in that thought!  You do not belong to yourself~you were bought with the precious blood of My Son~ You are mine dear consecrated one!"

FAITH JOURNEY

My two main goals in this life are:

1. "That I may KNOW HIM deeply and intimately (Phil. 3:10)
2.  "To be conformed to the image of His Son" (Romans 8:29)

When I first started my journey in my walk with Christ, the thing I prayed for the most was "Wisdom"  ~~ Then I read in Ecclesiates 1:18 "In much wisdom come much sorrow;  the more knowledge, the more grief".  But it is through my times of trial, that my relationship with the Lord has bcome deeper and richer in a way that would never have happened had I not experienced pain and grief!  In those times, he has brought me to the end of myself. (I often find that "I" am my most biggest problem.)  I have found when I have nothing left but God, that He is enough!

After coming through a season of a series of trials (a few years), with storms of all kinds that challenged and tried every area of my life.... I was stripped physically, mentally, emotionally, financially and spiritually.  Things kept happening, one thing after another.  It sort of had a domino effect... I came to the point where I began to laugh and say...."What's next?.... But it drew me to "None of these things move me... neither do I count my life dear unto myself".  In thes dark and dreadful moments, the Lord would bring portions of scripture to my memory as I was grasping to make sense of it all... It would lead me back to the Word to look up the references of those scriptures and dig more deeply into them.  A friend told me as she laughed,  "He's playing 'hide and seek' with you!"

In this season of trial, I was drawn to the book of Job;  a man whose life was blameless in the midst of severe trial and testing.  The introduction to Job from the Message Bible:  "One of the surprises as we get older is that come to see that there is no correlation between the amount of wrong we commit and the amount of pain we experience.

Job does not curse God as his wife suggests he should do, getting rid of the problem by getting rid of God.  But neither does Job explain suffering. Suffering is a mystery, and Job comes to respect the mystery.
In the course of facing , questioning and respecting suffering, Job finds himself in a even larger mystery--the mystery of God.  Perhaps the greatest mystery in suffering is how it can bring a person into the presence of God in a state of worship, full of wonder, love and praise. Suffering does not inevitably do that, but it does it far more often that we would expect. Sufferers attract fixers the way roadkills attract vultures.
Job rejects the kind of advice and teaching that has God all figured out, that provides glib explanations for every circumstance. Faith is refined in the fires and storms of pain,  We cannot have truth about God divorced from the mind and heart of God.  People do not suffer less when they are committed to following God, but more.  when these people go through suffering, their lives are often transformed, deepened, marked with beauty and holiness, in remarkable ways that could never have been anticipated before suffering.

Sometimes it's hard to know how to follow Job's lead when we feel so alone in our suffering, unsure of what God wants us to do.  What we must realize during those times of darkness is that God who appeared to Job in the whirlwind is calling out to all of us.

We gain hope - not from the darkness of our suffering, not from the past answers in books, but from the God whos sees our suffering and shares our pain.
Reading Job prayfully and meditatively leads us to face the questions that arise when our lives don't turn out the way we expect them to.

Everytime we persist with Job in rejecting  the quick- fix counsel of people who see us and hear us but do not understand us, we deepen our our availability and openness to the revleation that comes only from the tempest.  We realized that suffering calls our lives into questions, not God's."

In every story of deliverance, it was humankind coming to the point of desperation, that gave God the opportunity to act.  Arriving at their wits end of desperation (Psalm 107:27), was the beinnging of God's  power.
While going through this series of various storms of all kinds... I was at times dumbfounded and would say..."What is this thing? What is happening to me?"  I'm sure others watching it all were thinking.... What did she do wrong?

 After approximately a 2 year period of storms, the Lord cut to my core and spoke to me through the words of Sara Groves, that echoed in my spirit as she decribed the story behind her album... She said the album was trying to document a faith struggle.  "The Other Side of Something"... That's where I was "The Other Side of Something".  I wept.

"The other side of something is the best way to describe where I am right now.  I said I wanted to describe the last season of my life.  I am on the other side of something and I don't know what that is yet, because I am too close to it!  I will have to wait a few more years in order to name it better.  I feel like I am definitely over something.  A season of victory.  A season of feeling a little more confident in my faith over the past 3 years." 

This ministered to me so deeply, as prior to this I couldn't put words to what I was experiencing.  So in this continued journey, my faith and my roots are growing deeper.  I am more intimately acquainted with the lover of my soul....

My passion and hunger burns with a flame that cannot be extinguished.  At times my longing for Him seems to be a form of suffering, and ache in my heart. And I say along with St. John of the Cross..."O burning love that has wounded me... And I share you a poem by St. John of the Cross:

                           

                          "The Living Flame Of Love"

 1. O living flame of love that tenderly wounds my soul in its deepest center!  Since now your are not oppressive, now consummate!  If it be your will: tear throught the veil of this sweet encounter!

2. O sweet  cautery, O delightful wound! O gentle hand!  O delicate touch that tastes of eternal life and pays every debt.  In killing you changed death to life.

3. O lamps of fire! in whose splendors the deep caverns of feeling, once obscure and blind, now give forth, so rarelly, so exquisitely, both warmth and light to their Beloved.

4. How gently and lovingly you wake in my heart, where in secret you dwell alone; and in your sweet breathing, filled with good and glory, how tenderly you swell my heart with love.

So this is where I am right now...Longing, hungering and thirsting for more.  He is bringing me into more quietness and solitude.  The draw of the crowds, noise and activity no longer has the "pull" it once did....I love my time alone.  It gives me the opportunity to draw closer, experience His presence in a way I haven't earlier in my walk.  As I become more quiet, His whispers of the still small voice have become louder.  It is such sweet communion. I am growing in the bridal love for my Lord and I am coming to know what its means to be His bride.  I also have been marinating over the story of the seven virgins and having oil in my lamp and what it means to be watching, waiting and being in a state of preparedness... and not losing hope in the midst of delay.  Seven were foolish, seven were wise... May I learn something from the wisdom of the wise.  "Wisdom and knowledge will be the stability of your times, and the strength of salvation."(Isaiah 33:6)

"The Call of Love"... O My beloved, abide under the shelter of the lattice for I have betrothed you to Myself,

and though you are sometimes indifferent toward me, My love for you is at all times as a flame of fire.  My ardor never cools. My longing for your love and affection is deep and constant.

Tarry not for an opportunity to have more time to be alone with Me.  Take it, though you leave the tasks at hand.  Nothing will suffer.  Things are of less importance that you think. Our time together is like a garden full of flowers whereas the time you give to things is as a field full of stubble.

I love you, and if you can always, as it were, feel My pulse beat, you will receive insight that will give you sustaining strength.  I bore your sins and I wish to carry your burdens.  You may take the gift of  a light and a merry heart, for My love dispels all fear and is a cure for every ill. Lay your head upon my breast and lose yourself in Me.  You will experience resurrection life and peace:  the joy of the Lord will become your strength; and wells of savation will be opened to you." ( From "Come Away My Beloved")

My story...What did this experience do for me?  Being stripped of everything... it stripped me and I found my true identity, my authentic self, which was deeply rooted in the True Vine... the branch only reveals the inner nature of the Vine.  My identity was not defined by what I had, my position; my job, by other people's opinions of me or their accusations, my physical conditon of my body, though broken and bruised; my emotions did not dictate over my spirit---When all was stripped away, I found Christ strong and powerful within me.  It reinforced that I am nothing without Him... Because if all was stripped away and I didn't have Christ, I would truly have nothing. But I found myself very rich in God ~~ a bank account with eternal value that could never be depleted or stolen in the physical realm of my earthly life.  It is secured in heaven's vault!--To me, this is priceless!!!

I say all this, not to boast of myself... but I boast of Christ... "For it is God that worketh in me, both to will and to do his good pleasure..."And He that started a good work in me will bring it to completion"  It is not something that I could do.... it is a supernatural reformation of my heart, which will be a continual process until I meet Him face to face!

"Life is like a coin...
  You can spend it    
     anyway you want,
       but you can only
            spend it once!"

"God does not call the
        equipped....
He equips the called!"

"To err is human,
   to forgive is  
       canine!"

To Infinity and BEYOND!

While celebrating the 4th of July holiday at the lake with my dear friend CoCo, she was telling me  of a song from the movie "Roman Adventure" called "Al  Di La".  She said it reminded her of the Lord,  and I agree.  The song is sung in Italian, but the English translation of the lyrics are as follows: 

BEYOND

I did not think it possible

If you could say these words

Beyond the most precious good,

there you are.

Beyond the most ambitious dream,

there you are.

Beyond the most beautiful things,

there you are.

Beyond the stars, there you are.

Beyond, there you are for me,

just for me.

Beyond the deepest sea, there you are.

Beyond the borders of the world, there you are.

Beyond the infinite vault (sky-heaven),

Beyond life.

There you are, there you are for me.

Reflecting on Job....

"One of the surprises as we get older is that we come to see that there is no real correlation between the amount of wrong we commit and the amount of pain we experience.

Job does not curse God as his wife suggests he should do, getting rid of the problem by getting rid of God.  But neither does Job explain suffering.  Suffering is a mystery, and Job comes to respect the mystery.

In the course of facing, questioning and respecting suffering, Job finds himself in an even larger mystery---the mystery of God.  Perhaps the greatest mystery in suffering is how it can bring a person into the presence of God in a state of worship, full of wonder, love and praise.  Suffering does not inevitably do that, but it does it far more often that we would expect.

Sufferers attract fixers the way roadkill attract vultures.

Job rejects the kind of advise and teaching that has God all figured out, that provides glib explainations for every circumstance,

Faith is refined in the fires and storms of pain.  We cannot have truth about God divorced from the mind and heart of God.

People do not suffer less when they are committed to following God, but more.  When these people go through suffering, their lives are often transformed, deepened, marked with beauty and holiness, in remarkabale ways that could neaver have been anticipated before suffering.

Sometimes it's hard to know how to follow Job's lead when we feel so alone in our suffering, unsure of what God wants us to do.  What we must realize during those times of darkness is that God who appeared to Job in the whirlwind is calling out to all of us.

We gain hope --not from the darkness of our suffering, not from pat answers in books, but from the God whos sees our suffering and shares our PAIN.

Reading Job prayerfully and meditatively leads us to face the questions that arise when our lives don't turn out the way we expect them to.

Everytime we persist with Job in rejecting the quick-fix counsel of people who see us and hear us, but do not
understand us, we deepen our availabiltiy and openness to the revelation that comes only out of the tempest.  We realize that suffering calls our lives into question, not God's."

Intro to the Book of Job, The Message Bible

"Mushrooms grow in the dark!"

"We live our lives  
         forward
and we understand it
        backward."

FORGIVENESS

"The hornet of memory may fly,
 but forgiveness has taken out the
                   sting!"

UNBELIEF

"Unbelief is the darkroom where you develop your negatives." 

ORDERLINESS

"For God is not a God of disorder
  but of peace." (I Corinthians 14:32-33)

Paul explains what it means to be sanctified and to live an orderly life.  Therefore if our lives are characterized by disorder and confusion, we are not experiencing sanctification. 

In the creation narrative, we see the Holy Spirit bringing order out of chaos (Genesis 1). and whenever the Spirit is allowed to work, He will perform that ministry. Believers who walk in the Spirit will have orderly lives, even though to the unbelieving world their lives may seem inconsistent.  Jesus compared  the work of the Spirit in the believer to the blowing of the unpredictiable wind. (John 3:8)
~~Excerpt from "Bless You"- Receiving and Sharing the Blessings of the Lord by Warren W. Wiersbe

I write this as I am cleaning and purging "stuff".  I have been a collector of antiques and unusual eclectic stuff since I was a kid.  "Stuff" obscures my view and brings distraction from what I feel the Lord would have me focus on (away from the temporal to the eternal)  Reminds me of the verse, "For we look not to the things that are seen, but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are temporary and the things that are unseen are eternal" ( 2 Corinthians 4:18) I'm thankful that He isn't finished with me yet and I am still in the process of being sanctified.  I want to be in a place where my "theology" is consistent with my "reality"; so I am taking each prompting step by step as an act of obedience and trust the Lord to have his way in me.  I realize that sanctification is a life long process and I am working out my own salvation with fear and trembling.

So here is the process to get more SPACE!
S - SORT
P - PURGE
A - ASSIGN A PLACE
C - CONTAINERIZE
E - ELIMINATE

Hallelujah and Amen!

FACEDOWN

This past weekend I spent some time with my sister, Linda.  We were discussing some of the past Beth Moore bible studies we have both done.  The subject of "facedown" came up, which was introduced in the study "Stepping Up".   She challenged me...."Are you still doing that daily?"    I confessed, No... but I sense it was a "love tap" from God.... He knows my heart and is nudging me to posture "facedown" before Him!

"Facedown...the idea is to demonstrate reverence and surrender, however you personalize it!  Getting down on our faces first thing in the morning has the tremendous advantage of setting the tone for the day.  In God's economy the way up is down!" Beth Moore

Years ago, I had a dream where I was praying "facedown"; The Lord's hand came and rested on my right shoulder and His voice (like thunder), spoke a word of direction to me. His voice so powerful, startled me in somewhat of an awestruck fear.  It is hard to explain, but I will never forget it!

So at this time and place, I am encouraged to fall FACEDOWN ( Leviticus 9:24)

I recently came across a CD entitled "Facedown" by Matt Redman and is the cover of the CD jacket I have posted as a pic!   The lyrics are as follows:

"Welcomed  in to the courts of the King

I've been ushered into your presence

Lord, I stand on your merciful ground

Yet with every step tread with reverence

And I fall facedown

As your glory shines around

Yes, I fall facedown

As your glory shines around

Who is there in the heavens like you?

And on earth, who's your equal?

You are far above, You're the highest of heights

We are bowing down to exalt you

So let your glory shine around

Let our glory shine around

King of glory, here be found

King of glory"

INSPIRED!

After spending a retreat weekend up north, I return inspired!  As Sara Groves says in her song "Just Showed Up"... and I reiterated...."I'm going to live my life inspired.  Look for the holy in the common place. Open the windows and feel all that's honest and real, until I'm truly amazed!  I'm going to feel all my emotions.  I'm going to look you in the eyes.  I am going to listen and hear until it's finally clear and it changes our lives!"  ( This song was inspired by John Eldridges book "Waking the Dead" - The Glory of God in a man fully alive! 

So I was inspired to start this blog by stumbling onto another blog in a google search.  A close friend of mine calls me a "Wordsmith".... as my memory bank holds a collection of quotes, sayings, and verses that have been engrafted into my soul in this journey of life.  The road we travel is not always easy... I am thankful to have a relationship with Jesus Christ, who is not only my Redeemer, but my Advocate.  My goal in this life is to really KNOW Him (Phil 3:10) and be conformed to the image of His Son!

PRAYER OR PILLAR OF SALT?

"A short time ago I was told by a very learned man that souls without prayer are like people whose arms and legs are paralyzed: they posess feet and hands but they cannot control them. In the same way, their souls are so infirm and so accustomed to busying themselves with outside affairs that nothing can be done for them, and it seems as though they are incapable of entering withing themselves at all. So accustomed have they grown to living all the time with the repitles and other creatures in the outer court of the castle that they have almost become like them; and although by nature they are so richly endowed as to have the power to hold converse with none other than God himself, there is nothing that can be done for them. Unless they strive to realize their miserable conditon and to remedy it, they will be turned into pillars of salt for not looking within themselves just as Lot's wife was because she looked back."

~~Teresa of Avila "Interior Castle"

I love this book and this is one of my most favorite excerpts from it! I first purchased it back in the 70's, but didn't read the whole book until just a few years ago!   Teresa compares the contemplative life to a castle with seven chambers. Tracing the passage of the soul from each successive chamber, she draws a powerful picture of the path toward spiritual perfection. The language from the 1500s is a bit different, but beautiful!  It is a "read" that one could marinate on over and over again!